She showed up among the list of people I may know.
I didn’t know her, but it appears she’s at the top of her game, so sure, I’d like to.
Unfortunately, she’s not writing concisely: a quest each of us is always on, presumably.
Her LinkedIn profile began: “In my current position as the head of XYZ at ABC company….”
Why current? Isn’t that assumed?
Let’s strike and flip a few words, shall we?
“In my current position as the head of XYZ at ABC company….”
Here’s her alternative:
“As head of ABC’s XYZ practice, I….”
Instead of slogging through twelve words, she nails it with seven. Bonus points for driving straight to the point.
A beautiful thing.
Of course, some will argue that the sentence structure is all too passive, but I believe there’s a time and place to back into an idea. This is one of them. We know who she is right away.
I say this as loudly to myself as to anyone. As a writer, I’m on a constant quest for economy of words.
This is one way to find that efficient balance.
Until next time!