The Résumé Studio Blog

Last week, I read the opening line to an executive’s LinkedIn profile.

She showed up among the list of people I may know.

I didn’t know her, but it appears she’s at the top of her game, so sure, I’d like to.

Unfortunately, she’s not writing concisely: a quest each of us is always on, presumably.

Her LinkedIn profile began: “In my current position as the head of XYZ at ABC company….”

Hmm.

Why current?  Isn’t that assumed?

Let’s strike and flip a few words, shall we?

“In my current position as the head of XYZ at ABC company….”

Here’s her alternative:

“As head of ABC’s XYZ practice, I….”

Instead of slogging through twelve words, she nails it with seven. Bonus points for driving straight to the point.

A beautiful thing.

Of course, some will argue that the sentence structure is all too passive, but I believe there’s a time and place to back into an idea. This is one of them. We know who she is right away.

I say this as loudly to myself as to anyone. As a writer, I’m on a constant quest for economy of words.

This is one way to find that efficient balance.

Try it.

Until next time!

Filed under: LinkedIn Ideas, Writing Tips | Tagged: LinkedIn writing |